Between Hello And Goodbye
by rubylis
Summary: Roy reflects on Donna's death.
1. Default Chapter

BETWEEN HELLO AND GOODBYE

  
  


Note: All characters copyrighted by D.C. Comics/Warner Brothers. Story copyrighted by me.Please ask before archiving. 

  
  


PART 1

Ever been to an Amazon funeral with all the trimmings? Sucks. Big time. I've been to nine day Dinne ceremonies that didn't drag on this long.

Sure, the first hour goes by pretty quick. I mean, hey, leggy warrior women in short tunics. No bras. Gravity defying breasts. Must be some kind of Amazon heritage thing. Heh. Gotta love the local culture. A guy would have to be dead not to--yeah...well...forget I said that. 

Even the second hour isn't so bad. Go stand with the other Titans like a good little superhero. Look around, see who's here, who's hooking up with who. Watch the Wingster watch the Bat who seems to be standing awfully close to Diana. Wonder what's up with that. 

Listen to Garth explain why he's not in his Tempest uniform. I try to be interested. Really. For the first twenty minutes. But I've got him on one side spouting Amazon funeral etiquette and Flash on the other side doing that annoying vibrate in place thing he does when he's nervous. 

I take a break long enough to hand Lian over to the old man. Fuss over the way he holds her. Let him growl at me. Grin as she snuggles into "Papa" Ollie's arms. Grin even more when she tugs on his beard.

Get distracted by the flash of sun that hits Lian's necklace and my ring at the same time. Both ugly as sin. Both presents from--did I mention the braless thing? 

By the third hour, there's nothing left for me to think about. All of my thoughts circle back to the same place. The reason we're here. The person we're all here for. 

Donna.

My gaze drifts to the funeral bier. There's an Honor Guard. Donna dressed in full Amazon armor. All the big league superheroes spic and span in their colors. It's impressive as hell, but it's not her. 

Wingster's wasting breath with the usual "she was the heart of the team" spiel. All around me the appropriately grim, masked faces nod in agreement. Fallen hero. Promising life cut short. Wasn't her time. Same old funeral crap. 

I hate this. This isn't the Donna I know. This isn't the Donna I love. The one who likes chili dogs with extra onions. The one who's friggin' hysterical when she reads "Goldilocks" and makes up a voice for each of the three bears. I smile to myself.

The one who memorized my body with her lips. 

The smile fades. 


	2. Part 2

PART 2

I keep going back to what happened. What went wrong. How one of my screw-ups finally got someone killed. Just 'cause no one else blames me doesn't mean it wasn't my fault.

Donna and I were picking Lian up for lunch. On our way to the latest in a string of "authentic" Greek restaurants. Ever notice there's no authentic Roman restaurants around? Heh. Yeah. Donna gave me "the look" when I mentioned that to her, too. Gotta hand it to her, she knows the best places for a killer meal. 

Uhm--poor choice of words. Sorry. Been doing the whole foot in mouth thing a lot lately. 

Donna saw the car way before I did. She was in the crosswalk just steps from Lian before I caught on to what was happening. Lian's a good kid. Always does what I tell her to. And dammit if she didn't stop on a dime when I yelled. Right in the middle of the street.

That's what pisses me off. She did everything I taught her to do. Cross at the crosswalk only. Wait till the light changes. Look both ways. Wasn't her fault that some jackass half a block away--. 

Wasn't her fault that Donna was paying attention when I wasn't.

See, the hard thing about working as a team is knowing when to get out of the way. Police. Firefighters. We all work on the same idea. You can't help anyone if you put yourself in danger. That's how it's supposed to be. By the book.

Reality on the street, though, no way you're gonna let one of your own go down. If you're a dad watching his daughter about to become roadkill, sure as hell you're not gonna sit back and go by the book. Adrenaline does that to you. Gets you too pumped up to think straight. Superhero training is supposed to teach you how to deal with that. 

Because the irony is, Donna could have made it. She had Lian in her arms. Had already taken a step towards the other side. She had it. Until I ran into the street. It was a stupid move. 

I mean, I trust Donna, you know? It wasn't about that at all. It's just--this was Lian. This was my daughter. By the time Donna turned and realized I had put myself in danger, time had run out. 

I wonder sometimes if she did it on purpose. That extra oomph as she throws Lian to me that knocks us both clear of the street. 

A dull thud. Everything stills. Lian--hushed in the way that only really scared kids can be--looks at me, eyes wide, lower lip trembling. I hug her tight. Whisper Dinne reassurances as I check her for injuries. She seems okay. Carry her back to our car and make sure she's safely buckled in. 

There's no sign of Donna.

I push my way through the growing crowd and cross the street again. No skid marks. Sonofabitch didn't even try to brake. Each step brings me closer to the cold truth. Closer to slamming home what my racing heart doesn't want to believe. God, don't let this be real.

I find Donna's glove on the sidewalk. I find her half a block away. Crumpled in the gutter. Even as I reach for her-

"Babe--?"

--I know. Sometimes life sucker punches you in the gut and just like that, it's over. No kick ass battle to save the planet. No great triumph of good over evil. Just some idiot on a cell phone running a red light. Hit and run.

Now the car's gone. The kid's safe. The hero's dead.


	3. Part 3

PART 3

Donna's dead. 

Someone nudges me in the ribs, startling me from my thoughts back to the present. Garth. Again. He's gonna bust a gill if he doesn't lighten up. Yeah, yeah, I nod, half-listening. He steps ahead of me in the receiving line. Something about he's royalty and outranks the rest of us Titans. Would be an insult to Diana if he didn't greet her in proper order. 

Nightwing squeezes my shoulder. "You okay?" I nod. He doesn't buy it for a second. "We'll talk later." Again, I nod. He's almost past me before it hits me that he's hurting, too. My mind snaps out of its fog long enough to grab his arm. He turns. Sure, he's got the Bat-face down, but the shine of tears in his eyes gives him away. Some things you can't hide. "Beer's on me." He half-smiles, nods. 

I watch as Garth greets Diana. My chest tightens in panic. I don't remember the friggin' greeting. Okay, okay, deep breath. Just watch the others. I mentally kick myself for not paying more attention to Gillhead. Dammit, Harper, don't screw this up. Kneel. Kiss the back of the hand. Kiss the forehead. Kiss the cheek. I watch Wingster just to make sure. Got it? Check.

He steps away and I take his place. I start to kneel. Diana stops me. Nothing like hundreds of eyes staring at your back to jumpstart another panic attack. Sweat beads on my palms. I glance at Garth. He gives me an "I don't know" shrug. Yeah, that's helpful. Not. 

Several gasps followed by low whispers draw my attention back to Diana. She smiles warmly before kneeling and pressing the back of my hand to her lips. Another glance at Garth. He looks as green around the gills as I feel. Her lips brush my forehead. She's honoring me with the courtesan greeting. 

I look into eyes so much like Donna's my heart aches. Maybe it's the whole Goddess of Truth thing she had going on, I don't know, but suddenly I feel I can tell her anything and it'll be okay. Her lips brush mine and I surprise myself by returning her kiss. Again, that smile. Part Mona Lisa, part Mother Teresa. She takes my arm in hers and leads me up the palace steps. 

  
  



	4. Part 4

PART 4

What can you say about a royal palace? "Nice digs." Yep, foot in mouth, that's me. Diana laughs. "I find it a bit overwhelming myself." That's class for you, ever the diplomat trying to put me at ease. Donna was like that. Always trying to smooth things over.

"Hungry?"

I'm starving but it doesn't seem like the time or place to say so. I shake my head. My stomach grumbles in protest. Loudly. Quick as that, she turns on her heel and stares me down. 

"Roy Orion Harper." 

My full name. You know that can't be good. I stumble backwards and fall into a chair. She leans over me. "You know you can't lie to me." Then she winks. Honest to God, Wonder Woman actually winks at me. She reaches over my shoulder. Comes back with a bowl of fruit. My stomach rumbles in thanks. Her lips twitch. I think I amuse her. 

She takes the chair next to mine and pours us both some wine. We sit in silence. A couple of Amazons stroll through. Refill the wine. Leave just as quickly as they came. 

"Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"I got Donna killed." 

"Really?"

She rests her hand on my arm. There's a--feeling. A tingle of energy making the hairs on my neck stand up. It doesn't hurt really. Then the tingle sinks in and wraps around me like a warm blanket. Diana's intense gaze is unnerving as hell. 

"Tell me again, Roy."

"I--"

Donna's death replays in my head. All the images crashing together. All the emotions cutting through me at once. It was my fault. "Roy." Diana's fingers press lightly into my skin. I screwed up. I got her killed. "You can't lie to me." Again, the light ripple of energy runs across my skin.

"You can't lie to yourself." Suddenly the scene slams into focus and I see it clearly for the first time. I see it as an outsider would see it. I see it through Diana's eyes.

"It was an accident?"

She nods. 

"Lian's necklace--your ring--bear the royal seal of Themyscira. When you became Donna's lover--"

Heat floods my cheeks.

"--you became the royal consort with all the rights and privileges thereof. My gesture was a public affirmation of your status. You're under Amazon protection."

"I know Donna always had my back." My throat tightens. "I always had hers." I can't look her in the eyes. "I tried to."

"No, Roy." Again, that smile as she takes my hand and leads me to the window. The view's incredible. Row after row of Amazons in full battle dress. Long stretches of green woods and blue sky beyond. "You and your daughter are under the protection of the Amazon nation."

"Why?"

  
  


"So you will always have a tribe." 

My God. After all these years. My thumb rubs across the ring on my right hand. After all these years, to hear Diana echo Donna's words. I'd almost forgotten. 

Donna was still new to man's world back then, still learning the culture. She couldn't understand why the Dinne forced me to leave just because of my skin color. Kept asking if there wasn't some other reason. 

I know she didn't mean any harm. I know she was just curious. The thing is, the hurt was still too close to home for me. The unfairness of it still bitter enough for me to take my anger out on anyone who pushed the issue. My words had been as sharp as my arrows. How quick I had been to cut down her precious Amazons as being as prejudiced as the Dinne for not allowing men into their culture.

Without a word, Donna had gotten up and left. I tried everything to make it up her. Funny thing is, she never seemed angry or hurt, just thoughtful. About a week later she gave me the ring. If she mentioned the seal of Themyscira then, it never sunk in. Like I said, it's an ugly ring. Thought so then, still think so now. The important thing was that it seemed to be the way to smooth things over if I accepted it.

I never thought--never realized until this moment--that Donna had created a place for me in her own tribe. For what I've lost--for what I've found--I finally let the tears fall. 

THE END

  
  



End file.
